he wants to bone in the snuggie
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Ketchup is God's man juice
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later