i just wanna soil my oats bro
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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