Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die

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(973): View more from New Jersey

My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"

(973): View more from New Jersey

That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won

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(440): View more from Ohio

I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(586): View more from Michigan

apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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(716): View more from New York

Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree

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(330): View more from Ohio

I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages

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