i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
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