R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.