As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
