Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
