Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
