Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize