Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
