Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
