i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
someone owes me an orgasm
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
