Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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