btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
