i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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