i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
