Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
