Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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