Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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