get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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