i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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