It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize