I wanna bring you to show and tell
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
