I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize