You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
