She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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