ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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