I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i think my cat just said my name.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
