i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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