Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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