the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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