I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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