Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
bring money and cleavage
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
