who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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