we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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