Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
