just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
