RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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