I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
