margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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