all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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