I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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