In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
