If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
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See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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