franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
