32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
