She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
