He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
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And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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