I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
