You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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