I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
