I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
