The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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