You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
