Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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