Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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