Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Randomize
