i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Alive.
So much puke
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
