Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
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I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
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I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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