I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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