Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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