don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
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He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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