I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
foreskin is a definite game changer
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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