a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize