I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
