When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
