Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
