Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
