just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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