Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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