dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
