I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
