I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
