I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
