He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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